A FATHER'S BLESSING

"Joseph said to his father, "They are my sons, whom God has given me in this place." And he said, "Please bring them to me, and I will bless them" (Genesis 48:9, NIV).

Working with people in support groups over a number of years it amazed me how many participants—both men and women—had a father issue. That is, they felt that their father was never or rarely involved in their life either physically and/or emotionally when they were a child and/or a teenager. All of these people have a deep father wound because they never received their father's affirmation or blessing.

Popular author and psychologist, Gary Smalley, lists some key answers received after asking one hundred people how they knew that they had received their father's blessing. Following are some of the answers he received:

1. "My father would put his arm around me at church and let me lay my head on his shoulder."

2. "When my father was facing being transferred at work, he purposely took another job so that I could finish my senior year in high school at the same school."

3. "When I wrecked my parent's car, my father's first reaction was to hug me and let me cry instead of yelling at me."

4. "When I was thirteen, my dad trusted me to use his favorite hunting rifle when I was invited to go hunting with a friend and his father.

5. "My father went with me when I had to take back an ugly dress a saleswoman had talked me into buying."

6. "My father would let me practice pitching to him for a long time when he got home from work."

7. "Even though I had never seen him cry before, my father cried during my wedding because he was going to miss me no longer being at home."

For those of us who have had or still have an unresolved father issue we know the pain of missing out on our father's blessing. For fathers of children/teens who are reading this article, I trust you will realize the crucial role you play in the emotional and spiritual development of your children. With your blessing they have a much greater chance of having a fulfilling life and a healthy marriage and family life. Without your blessing they may, like millions of others, spend the rest of their life seeking love in all the wrong ways and places albeit in an unconscious and desperate attempt to fill the empty place in their heart caused by a lack of their father's blessing and their subsequent father wound.

SAY THIS: (if you have a father wound): "Our Loving Heavenly Father, thank you for helping me to see that I never received my father's blessing. Please lead me to the help I need for the healing and recovery of my father wound. (If you are a father): Please help me to be the father my children need so they will know without a shadow of a doubt that they have my full blessing. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, In Jesus loving Name I Pray, Amen."

A TRUE FRIEND

"A friend loves at all times. . ." (Proverbs 17:17, NIV).

Years ago a friend was talking to me about some people being "cursed with the affliction to give advice." At the time I had no idea what he was talking about. Sure sounded strange to me. Now I understand.

According to Webster's Dictionary, people "offering. . .unwanted advice" are officious. They can also be obnoxious. Such advice can be and often is a thinly veiled criticism.

I'm not talking about going to a lawyer or an accountant or a car mechanic or whatever where we need and are asking for professional advice. What I'm talking about is when we share our struggles and feelings with a friend and they have a compulsion to tell us what we should or shouldn't be doing, or to "fix" us. They are in fact putting us down in that they are assuming that they know our needs better than we know them ourselves.

Even when some people want us to tell them what to do, it is a much greater help not to tell them what we think they should do, but to help THEM come up with their own options and solutions. This is what a good counselor does. He helps clients see what their options are and decide for themselves what they need to do.

What I want from a friend when I am feeling in the pits is someone to listen to me with their heart, give me their presence, and accept me as I am—and let me know they care—without giving any kind of advice or trying to fix me.

These friends can be rare. Even rarer is the friend who knows how to weep with those who weep.

In his book, Out of Solitude, Henri Nouwen wrote, "When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."

May God help us all to be this kind of a friend.

SAY THIS: "Almighty God, please give me an understanding, caring, and compassionate heart and help me to learn how to listen to my friends' pain, to accept them as they are, to communicate to them that I truly care— without having a compulsion to give unsolicited advice or try to fix them. To my friends in need please help me to be a friend indeed. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, In Jesus loving Name I Pray, Amen."

DON'T FORGET TO PRAY

"The men of Israel sampled their provisions but did not inquire of the Lord" (Joshua 9:14, NIV).

After the days of Moses when the armies of Israel, led by Joshua, were conquering the Promised Land marked out for them by God, the surrounding kings and nations were understandably terrified. This was because God was with the Israelites giving them great victories wherever they went.

However, the men of Gibeon, a nearby country, resorted to trickery and outsmarted Joshua. They sent a delegation to Joshua with the appearance of having come from a distant land so they could deceive Joshua into making a treaty with them. Their donkeys carried worn-out sacks and old wineskins that were cracked and had been mended. They wore old clothes, and worn and patched sandals, and the bread they carried with them was dry and moldy.

Their ruse worked. Joshua signed a treaty with them and only afterwards discovered they were a neighboring people among those countries God had told Joshua to destroy because of their wickedness. They had to live with the consequences as a result.

Joshua's mistake was that he made this treaty without praying and inquiring of the Lord! An extremely valuable lesson for all of us to learn!

SAY THIS: "Merciful Father in Heaven, thank you for including this story in your Word, the Bible, as a graphic reminder for me to seek your guidance and direction for every aspect of my life, so that I will continuously live in harmony with your perfect will. Gratefully, In Jesus loving Name I Pray, Amen."

A broken heart!

"The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all." Psalm 34:17-20

Have you ever lost a loved one? In the past I have shared with you about losing our daughter, but I feel led to do so again.

"Dad, are you sitting down?" Those words came across the phone lines from our oldest daughter, Brenda, some twenty years ago. I told her that I was. She said, "I am in the hospital with heart failure."

The words struck with the force of a blow to my stomach. I told her that her mother and I would be there as soon as possible. It was over 500 miles from Shelton, Washington to Boise, Idaho, and we made it in record time.

When we arrived, the prognosis was even worse than we had anticipated. Brenda was diagnosed with Primary Pulmonary Hypertension and the only way she could survive was to have both a heart and lung transplant. In the meantime she, like so many others, had to live with a broken heart.

I knew that as much as I wanted to fix my dear daughter's condition, neither myself, her mom, nor the medical doctors could fix Brenda's heart. She would live the remaining days of her life with a broken heart.

There are many people reading this who have a heart condition or have loved ones who are living with a heart defect. We know the tender care which must be exercised in living with a broken heart. It may require a change in the way we eat, the way we exercise and the medicines we take.

There is another aspect of having a broken heart -- it is the attitude of heart before our God. It may be described as the opposite of pride and arrogance. It was a chief characteristic of our Lord when He walked the dusty roads of Israel. He, who was the One who had created all things, was now in submission to His Father. He lived with a broken heart.

How are we to emulate the attitude which Christ patterned? The most obvious answer is that we are to live with a broken heart. That does not mean that we are to develop a medical heart condition, but rather a spiritual one. It is not only okay to have a spiritually broken heart, it is essential in order to live in victory.

Our hearts need to be crushed and broken by the things which we see in our lives which are contrary to the will of God. In these instances we need to cry out to God and confess our sin in order for Him to forgive and cleanse. This very attitude should also be evidenced as we observe the sins of our nation and of the world.

If there was a single characteristic which described the prophets of the Old Testament, it was their godly sorrow for sin. They very clearly lived with a broken heart. Is it any wonder that the Lord was able to do such mighty works through them?

I think it is time for us to stop and evaluate our lives in view of eternity. More than being brokenhearted because of the loss of a loved one, we need to have our hearts crushed before the Lord. As we examine our lives may we pray with all sincerity: "Lord let me live before You with a broken heart!"

Pastor Cecil A. Thompson

(Thanks to Monic)

Little Acts of Love

As I loaded dishes into the dishwasher, I sang along with the radio. My grandson looked up from the picture he was coloring and said, "Grandma, there's one thing about you that I don't like." Anticipating what he was going to say, I asked, "What? That I sing all the time?"

"No," he answered, "It's not how much you sing, it's how BAD you sing."

Once again, I was reminded that God did not bless me with a good singing voice.

I used to wish that I were a wonderful singer, so I could entertain thousands of adoring fans packed into crowded stadiums. In reality, my singing can't even please one six year old.

I also used to wish I were a great orator. I've always envied people who could speak eloquently. I have trouble completing a sentence that can be understood
by a preschooler.

I may not possess the talents I would have preferred to be born with, but I still have the ability to change the world . . . And so do you!

Changing the world doesn't require wealth, talent, or a huge investment of time. Right now, you (yes you), with your current limitations and abilities, have tremendous power to impact others.

Don't believe me? Have you ever had a day in which everything you touched went wrong? When you were at the end of your rope, did someone speak a kind
word or help you out? Do you remember how it warmed your heart and perked up your spirit? Small, loving acts make a profound difference. Everyone longs to feel noticed and appreciated. That's why it means so much when someone surprises us with a simple act of caring. It assures us that we matter.

Discouraged people are everywhere. They need you. Don't overlook opportunities to make a difference in someone's life. A smile, a note, or a phone call
won't take much effort, but they can make someone's day. Not only will your kindness be appreciated by the recipient and rewarded by God, but it will enrich
your own life too.

Many folks say, "I'm just one person. I can't make a difference." If you've ever been on the receiving end of a hug just when it's needed, you know one person's concern is powerful. Do you compare your contribution to a tiny drop of water in the huge ocean? Mother Theresa's view was that the ocean would
be less without that one drop.

There could be no mountains, if not for the tiny grains of sand from which the mountains are made. Little things pack a big punch. Encouragement takes
only a moment to give but it delivers an important message of love and concern to the recipient, and it could last a lifetime. Your empathy and time can
lessen someone's load and make their life journey easier.

We may not speak like Billy Graham or sing like Frank Sinatra, but we each have our own unique talents that God wants us to use. Have you considered
that you may be exactly what someone is praying for?

Open your heart. Show your care. Share a little love.
-Rob Chaffart